Things I Wish I Could Say to My 20-Year-Old Self
I just typed the title of this post and I’m already feeling emotion well up inside my chest. If you had met 20-year-old Sarah, you would never have guessed she’d be writing this 16 years later.
For the majority of my 20s, I was an art college dropout stuck in a horribly toxic relationship with tiny, manageable goals and undiagnosed inattentive ADHD. I had no real direction in life besides trying to make it through each day without stepping on a land mine. I would imagine it was confusing for my friends and family to watch — I had a good head on my shoulders, a decent GPA and won a hefty scholarship to one of the most respected art colleges in the state. But there I was, back in my hometown after less than a year at school and bouncing from one random job to the next.
The problem? I was 100% focused on making someone else happy and completely neglecting my own hopes and dreams. I had made myself so small and silenced my own thoughts to the point where I couldn’t tell where my own opinions began and someone else’s ended.
I have so much compassion for 20-year-old me, and I know that there are people out there who can relate to her right in this very moment. So I’d like to share some things I wish someone had told me back then:
You are ready.
No one feels ready to take big leaps in life. Confidence doesn’t come before action; it comes from doing the thing scared, again and again. You’ll figure it out piece by piece. If you wait until you feel “ready,” or until someone else deems you “ready” you’ll be waiting forever.
You are enough.
Not the polished version of you, not the one who has it all figured out or has all the answers. You, right now. The messy, learning-as-you-go version of you is enough to start something real. You don’t need permission or a degree or anyone else’s approval to begin. You just have to decide your story isn’t over yet, and your path can take a turn for the better.
It’s okay to be successful.
You don’t have to apologize for wanting more. Success doesn’t make you selfish, and it doesn’t mean you’re leaving anyone behind. It simply means you’re stepping into who you’ve always been meant to be. You’re allowed to want the kind of life that excites you! One that uses your talents fully and leaves you proud at the end of the day.
It’s not too late to change your path.
Whether you’re 25 or 55, the timeline you think you’ve “missed” doesn’t exist. Growth doesn’t have an expiration date. Every detour, job, and hard season teaches you something that will serve you when you finally do take that leap. The timing will never be perfect. Start anyway.
Don’t let anyone else tell you what you’re capable of.
The world will always have opinions about what’s realistic, what’s safe, and what you “should” do. But no one else gets to decide the limits of your potential. The people who doubt you don’t see what you see. They don’t carry your ideas, your drive, or your “why.” Protect those things fiercely. You owe it to yourself to find out just how far you can go.
If I could sit across from 20-year-old me, I’d tell her she was never broken. She was just stuck in a life that didn’t fit. And if you’re reading this and feeling that same tug, that quiet voice that says there has to be more, please listen to it. You don’t have to have it all figured out to start over. You just have to trust that the version of you who’s dreaming about something different is already capable of making it happen.
The truth is, everything I have now (this business, my family, work-life balance, etc.) started the moment I stopped asking for permission and started believing I could build something on my own terms. And if I can do it, you can too.
